| Summary: | Confronted by new knowledge of her own past, her own family history and a Sámi heritage, the author in this essay navigates on a familiar but now suddenly at the same time unknown Lule River, through familiar land- and waterscapes, now altering before her eyes. The essay is a postcolonial feminist search for the past, attempting at translating it to the present, and pondering on who the author, with this new knowledge, her self actually is. Or want to be. It is a reflection over what parts of her past that has been hidden to her, why it was concealed, and what those acts, by other people – contributing to hiding her past - means to her, today, for her academic research on large scale hydropower exploitations in Sápmi, Sweden.
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