Milo Canopener (September 1, 2009)

• Format: Journal/Newspaper
• Language: English
• Published: Milo Community Volunteers 2009
• Subjects: Milo (Alta.) > Newsletters; Alta; Austin; Fairbanks; Canada; Kay; Seymour; Slaughter; Lowe; Myers; Todd; Milton; Sheila; Hannah; Carr; Ferguson; Colleen; Jules; Briggs; Denise; Atkinson; Garry; Dane; Elva; Freed; Saloon; Fulton; Recess; Archer; Corral; Two Brothers; Bain; Vasa; Donnelly; The Soldier; Bouquet; Rodger; Amour; Hidden Valley; The Guides; Inner Harbor; Maty; Moora; Kyle; Newfoundland
• Online Access: http://digitallibrary.uleth.ca/cdm/ref/collection/sanl/id/17

An archive of the Milo Canopener. The University of Lethbridge Library received permission from the Archives at Milo Library to digitize and display this content. Milo Can Opener Box 12, Milo, AB T0L1L0 Canada Post Agmt. # 40607518 MILO CANOPENER September 2009 Edition no. 232 MILO LIBRARY N/C Milo Area also Hit by Massive Hailstorm The massive wind and hailstorm that ripped through Alberta the evening of August 2 and early morning of August 3 also hit the Milo area. The village was spared any hail damage, but crops a few miles west were totally devastated. Damage to house siding and windows and to vehicles, trailers, etc. was common to those who happened to be in the path of the storm. AFSC has indicated that this storm cut a strip of devastation from west of Olds to the Milk River area and that the width of the storm varied from seven km to 50 km. It went through our area at about 3:00 a.m. August 3. Pictured above are a golf ball sized hailstone and the remains of a holiday trailer vent.Ad Rates Subscription Rates Business Directory $ 5.00 Milo $ 16.00 Quarter Page 6.00 (- pickup,delivery or mailed) Half Page 8.00 Mailed (outside Milo) 24.00 Full Pages 15.00 Single Copies 2.00 Classifieds 2.00 The fuiiuwinM items are free of charge Notices Announcements ( Wedding, Anniversary, Births, Showers, etc.) Cards of Thanks News items Articles Many ways to forward your articles, notices and advertising: Milo Can Opener Box 12, Miio, Aiberta, TOL 1L0 Email: [e-mail] or [e-mail] Fax# [phone] e-mail is the preferred method if possible. Faxed documents tend to be unclear. Items may be left at Milo Green Foods in the Canopener box at back of store or at Milo Library or in the library book drop. Letters to the Editor are welcome. Please sign them, no letters will be printed if not signed. Requests to remain anonymous will not be honoured. Canopener volunteer staff Layout Editors - Barb Godkin - 599 - 2213, 485-8389 Colleen Bartsch 599-2204 Darlene Phillips 599-3791 Courtney Zary 485-5857 Production - Betty Armstrong Subscriptions - Darlene Phillips -. 599 - 3791 Notices - Any Canopener volunteers Cartoons & “Kids Say” - Marina Vannatta -. 381 - 6389 Please Note: The deadline for articles is about a week before the end of the month. Printing is usually done the last Thursday of the month.GOODS & SERVICES MILO CAFE CHINESE 8. WESTERN TAKE OUT ORDERS 599-3832 Closed Monday Monday-Sunday 8:30 am - 8.00 pm > /A *iui f/?< ■'*£> m a Ry KAy. Donna Bennett Deitz Independent Beauty Consultant P.O. Box 37, Milo, Alta. TOL 1LO [phone] Phillips Agricultural Products and Services Box 292 Lomond, Alberta TOL 1G0 Robert Phillips Telephone: [phone] Toll Free: 1-800-387-8486 Cellular: [phone] Fax: [phone] Box 7 Milo, AB TOL 1 LO Doug Marks PRESIDENT Office: [phone] Fax: [phone] Mobile: [phone] Oilfield Services Inc, Trucking, Gravel Oilfield Maintenance and Con struct ion Pipelining 0k IS £ &(Smum |nf 3 Sitae *i a dt* [phone] P.O.Box 67 Milo, Alberta T0L1L0 Specializing in sandblasted mirrors & Cedar signs Donna Bennett Deitz Direct: [phone] Account Manager Small Business donna.bennettdeitz(ffdscotja b<m k^.m Marianne Armstrong Personal Banking Officer Melissa Rooke Officer in Charge j| Scotiabank Direct: [phone] [e-mail] Inquiries: [phone] mel issad. [e-mail] PO Box 150 Milo, AB TOL 1 LO Call Redirect: [phone] Fax: [phone] “Make Your Winning Move With Us” MLS Magnuson Realty LYLE MAGNUSON LARRY DIETRICH Website: www.magnusonrealty.comWe would like to thank our advertisers for their continued support. Without them, we would not be able to print this newsletter for the enjoyment of the readers. TOWING * 4 X 4 Service * Wheel-Lift * Boosting * Winching * Fuel, Flats * Lock-outs * Recoveries * R.V. Towing * Small Repairs J3 Services Bus: 485-2667 Mobile: [phone] " 24 Flour Emergency Service" Ready & Reliable [phone joe] Box 93 Vulcan Alta. TOL 2B0 VACUUM * Septic Tanks * Portables * Mud Pits * Sumps * Holding Tanks * Cisterns * Basement Floods Ki MILO SEED CLEANING ASSOCIATION LTD. 599-2150 Cleaner Seed is Sown. Cleaner Crops are Grown. Sheldon Walker Manager (fsso) VULCAN VILLAGE GAS BAR P.O. BOX 425 VULCAN ALTA. TOL 2B0 PHONE: [phone] FOOD TO CO Garry & Bernardine Nelson 485-2519 Septic Solutions . Septic System Design and Installation Soil Testing DAN KING 403-599-3909 ALBERTA PORTA-PODI JERRY GAUTREAU General Manager 233220 Range Road 282 Rockyview, Alberta T1X 0H2 Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] Toll Free Tel: [phone]Richardson Partner: Financial Limited Lori Vooys CIM, FCSI, FMA, A PM First Vice President Wealth Advisor [e-mail] The Stevenson Vooys Group Suite 1000-333 7th Avenue SV Calgary, AB T2P 2Z1 Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] Toll Free: 1 [phone] www.rpfl.com FAIRBANKS DENTURE CLINIC 125 Centre Street,. Vulcan, Alberta T0L2B0 403-485-2368 Scott D. Fairbanks, DD Office Hours: Wednesday 9.00 am-S:0apm V'V'ST Friday 9:00 am -12:30 pm \ § n M, 4> 4" Vs 8 1 P 1 if* WUl^caii viiiiiv Dr. (B.L. Trump Optometrist Open Wednesday and Friday 8:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. BOX 972 VULCAN, ALBERTA TOL 2B0 TELEPHONE [phone] (EMERGENCIES ONLY 485-2886) EDifo (So Mo [phone] p;0. Box 87, Vulcan, Alberta, Canada ARROW WOOD CO-OPERATIVE ASSOCIATION LIMITED P.O.BOX 120, # 1? - Center Street, ARROWWOOD, Alberta TOL 0B0 Main Store Phone (403) 534*- 3303 Fax [phone] Toll Free 1-888-534-3803 Tire Shop Phone [phone] ^ A pmofrmnn Coll PhnnA /864-9 <^0^5 "Organized for Savings . Not for Profit" \ •'''*/ ■ - - - - BULK FUEL & CARDLOCKS at Arrowwood & Milo sites Petroleum Products; Fuel / Lubricants HARDWARE STORE Hardware / Lumber Plumbing / Electrical Hydraulic Hoses / Belts / Bearings Feed and Animal Health Supplies Paint: Interior / Exterior / Stain Housewares / Sporting Goods TIRE SHOP We sell and service ALL tires Calcium filling j Custom Exhaust & Muffler Service Shocks Oil Change --- — r HOURS: Mon to Fri S:a.m. to 12:noon & l:p.m. to 5:p.m. — Sat 8;a.m. to 12;noon■eush pass the relish, please When Barbara Maggs of Cle Elum, Wash,, was growing up in rural Massachusetts, her family had a large patch of rhubarb, and her mother tried a lot of recipes to tempt the family into eating it. This pie was their favorite. Even those who say "I don’t like rhubarb” like this pie, according to Barbara We’d love to hear from you. From cookie swaps to backyard barbecues to potluck suppers, food is best when shared. Mail your favorite recipe, the story behind it and a photo of yourself to Pass the Relish, Please, Relish Magazine, 341 Cool Springs Blvd., Suite 400, Franklin, TN 37067. [e-mail] We cannot return photos All submissions and ohotos become property of Relish and the Publishing Group of America. 1 0 relish CELEBRATING AMERICA'S LOVE OF FOOD MILO FALL FAIR AX MILO COMMUNITY SCHOOL SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2009 DOORS OPEN AT 3 P.M. FOR VIEWING SUPPER IN MILO HALL FROM 6 - 7 P.M. BEST PHOTO FOR MILO LIONS CALENDAR BEST STRAWBERRY JAM BEST ZUCCHINI LOAF BEST MULTI GRAIN BREAD RICE CRISP SQUARES CHOCOLATE CHIP BAKING CROSS-STITCH PICTURE FOR THESE CONTESTS PLEASE CHECK THE FAIR BOOK FOR DETAILS OR CALL ELVA GORE AT 403-599-2206JULIE AND SUE’S BIG ADVENTURE 10 Day Baltic Treasures - Holland American Eurodam Cruise We left Calgary June 10th and arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark about 9 hours later to a wind and rain storm. Our hotel was great except for the windows that we could not close all the way and things were quite soggy by morning, but the transfer to our ship the MS Eurodam was smooth. Our first night at sea was a bit rocky and the next day we could not dock in Wamemunde (Berlin) due to gale force winds so we cruised to Tallinn, Estonia. Really enjoyed the sights and towns there. It’s a very clean and orderly country; the outdoor living museum was especially interesting. The next day we docked in St. Petersburg, Russia. What can be said about the beautiful sights to be seen there! Catherine’s Palace and Paul’s Palace were the first day iour with aii the sights in between, the lovely pine forests and gardens were magnificent. The next morning was spent on a city tour and then the Heritage Museum rounded out the day. Our ship had to be docked at the industrial port because of its size, so we did get to see the older parts of St Petersburg but it did rain the second day so luckily we were indoors for most parts. Met lots of interesting people on our ship; a family from Egypt, some fellow Canadians, some who knew where Milo was, our dinner mates were Americans and some very polite Japanese groups. The entertainment in the evening was lots of fun and varied for everyone’s taste. On shore exclusions, we had beautiful clean buses and the guides were very well versed, most spoke English with very little trouble. They were usually school teachers and were trained overseas so they were fluent in English, Spanish, Russian and German. Welcome to Helsinki, Finland on the south part of the coast, the most populated and richest part of the country. It is a city of million people. Being an outpost of the Russian Empire, it is now a showcase of independent Finland, being beautifully built during the last century. Our shore tour took us to many interesting churches and historic places out in the country. We visited a beautiful country home where we had lunch (egg butter) and other goodies. Then we enjoyed a walk through the hillside to a beautiful lake. The outdoor sauna was a big attraction as well as the unique farm house. Our journey continued onto Stockholm, Sweden, where the history of Stockholm begins with a legend from the era of the Vikings. Agne, a warrior king married a local chiefs daughter name Skjalf. She was won by Agne through war and as he stopped to celebrate, he and his friends got drunk and Skjalf freed herself. She returned with help and captured Agne and he was hung at the place called Stockholm. It is known that a castle and church were built there in the 13th century. Stockholm is built on fourteen small islands and it is considered Sweden’s most beautiful city. Our tour took us through the city where we watched the changing of the guards and many other interesting stops. We went to Sigtuna, the first Christian stronghold where we were delighted to watch the mid summers eve cobblestone streets with flowered wreaths, singing and dancing around the may pole. We also visited the Vasa Museum. From Stockholm we cruised to Kiel, Germany. There, we did a walking tour of the harbor and enjoyed Falls Ships “regatta”. Sailing ships from around the world weredocked with us and it was a beautiful sight to behold them as they were making their way to St Petersburg and back. We had decided to stay over in Copenhagen two days after our cruise so we had a wonderful city tour then transferred to our hotel. Our tour guide there had been across Canada as a worker with the Rodger Wittiker show, so he was interesting to talk with. We did the big walking tour though the Strozet (Pedestrian Street) with beautiful water fountains at every comer. We also visited the Royal Copenhagen Store along with / elevens, Burger Kings and KFC’s. The Tivoli Garden was just down the block from our hotel so we spent a lovely evening there enjoying the music in the bandstands and admired the flower gardens, etc, having a wonderful supper, BBQ ribs and beer. The Canal Tour took us through the inner Harbor to some of the most popular places to visit, such as; The Little Mermaid, The New Opera House, Christian VIII’s Palace and many other places too, numerous to mention. It is impossible to recall all the fun things we did and the laughter we shared during our trip but it’s always good to be home again!The Foothills Forage and Grazing Association is offering: Low-Stress Cattle Handling Clinic September 10, 2009 8:30am to 5:00 pm Robertson Ranch Longview Area registrations must be in by Sept. 4 for more info contact Laura at: [phone] or Michael Monner 599-3790 % 5ALOM hair design by Denise Brown and Norma Brown Cut*, C&lm4, PiWh4, K'bOM T cn,ll:Penise -Hunn^ 4-0?-f0t~707? Located at the County Farmhouse call: 403-734-2593 NORM STOKES WEEDING General and Oilfield Repair Custom Mowing New & Used Steel Sales Custom Built Trailers B-Pressure Welding Phone [phone] Cell. 485-0365 Phone [phone] Phone [phone] __ Letts outfit your leagud Newsies igBBfctraciticrei Gteet pices &qusiity Dcrit,1F0RF'gsfc wealsoirrpirt gdf balls arl tees! 133 Centre Street - P.O. Box 1420 Vulcan, AB T0L 2B0 [phone] Toll Free: 888-485-2462 Fax: [phone] E-mail: [e-mail] GOLF 8EAS0M1S HERE i ;The Wooden Bowl I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. ’We must do something about father,’ said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’ So the husband and wife set a small table in the comer. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ’ The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that making a Tlivingf is not the same thing as making a ’life.’ I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Ifve learned that you shouldnTt go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You nee d to be able to throw something back sometimes. I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.Handcrafted by G^acu- £BofvS-§cattc^<j<Mj3 Value of $475 $1.00 per Ticket Draw date: 0otc$}£A. 3 ®17tfo Saffl (Tai -z § 1#September2009 Volume 2, Issue 9 The Julie/Julia Project (http:// blogs.salon.com/ 0001399/2002/0 8/25.html) With the movie Julie & Julia open­ing recently, this website may gain some renewed inter­est. The movie is based on this real life blog, which was written mostly in 2002 and 2003. It chronicles the ef­forts of one Ameri­can cook to follow all 536 recipes in the first edition of Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cook­ing”. **Note- there is some offen­sive language used on the site, and the navigation is a bit tricky - click on the hyperlinks in the calendar on the top right of the page to navigate the blog posts. Milo Library SEPTEMBER NEWS Milo Library- Pilot for RISE PROJECT I N 2 0 0 9 if success and the kids are now set free into the world to terrorize. I mean save the world with their new found spy abilities and great gadget prizes. Youth Program We are done! Our movie is finally finished and it is probably the cheapest movie you will ever find with $50 dollars a week! Our big debut is on Oct 3 at the Milo Library beginning at 2 pm. Our actors and actresses will ar­rive in their finery and will be a available to sign autographs. Come one come all to a Gina Deitz produc­tion of: NOT Just Another t * ' H«>rror Movie e w Purchases Summer Reading Program Spy Academy has come to a close with everyone passing with flying colors and they now are fuiiy equipped spies. Many kids got lots of prizes at our Movie day where we watched “17 Again” and enjoyed popcorn, juice, and other snacks. This years summer reading pro­gram was a roaring N ULS Best Sellers “Lord John and the Private Mat­ter’ by Diana Gabaldon, “Fearless Fourteen” by Janet Evanovich, “Moscow Rules” by Daniel Silva, “The Mercedes Coffin” by Faye Kellerman. “Last Kiss” by Luanne Rice, “Tsar” by Ted Bell, “Being Elizabeth” by Barbara Taylor Bradford, “The Last Oracle” by James Rollins, “Silks” by Dick Francis, “Fractured” by Karin Slaughter DVD’s “Bride Wars”, “Fast & Furi­ous”, “I Love You Man”, Pink Panther 2”, “Taken”, “Coraline”, “What’s Up”, “Bedtime Stories”, “Inkheart”, “17 Again”, “Hannah Montana the Movie” “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, “The Mirror has Two faces”, “Collateral Dam­age” ADULT FICTION “The Neighbor” by Lisa Gard­ner, “First Light” by Bodie Thoene, “The Power of One” by Bryce Courtenay, “The Singing Fire” by Lilian Nattel, “No One Heard Her Scream” by Jordan Dane, “Sacred Stone” by Clive Cussler, “This Present Dark­ness” by Frank E. Peretti, “The Orpheus Deception” by David Stone, “ The Sisters Mortland” by Sally Beuman, “Dogs and Goddesses” by Jennifer Cruise, Anne Stuart, and Lani Diane Rich, “Best Friends Forever” by Jenifer Weiner, “The Defector” by Daniel Silva, “While I was Gone” by Sue Miller, “The Client” by John Grisham, “Shall we tell the President?” & “Honor Among Thieves by Jeffery Archer, “Pearl Harbor” by Newt Gincrich, “World Without End” by Ken Follet, ADULT NON-FICTION “Bastards and Boneheads” by Will Ferguson, “The Traveler’s Atlas: North America” by Donna Dailey, “50,001 best Baby Names” by Diane Staf­ford, “How to Cheat at Garden­ing and Yard Work” by Jeff Bredenberg, “The Ultimate Gardener” by Charlie Nardozzi, “Life Makeovers” by Cheryl Richardson, “The Diet Code” by Stephen Lanzalotta, “Pdates for Every Body” by Denise Austin, “Eco Yards: Simple Steps to Earth Friendly Landscapes” by Larueen Rama, “Cloris” by Cloris Leachman, “Talk Dirty with the Queen of Clean”, “The New Global Student” by Maya Frost, “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” by John Ber- endt, “Night” by Elie Wiesel, “Figure Sketching School” by Valerie Wiffen, “Watercolor /HOURS FOR FALL 0 9 Tuesday: 10:00 am - o 9 LO pm Tuesday evening : 7:00 pm - -9:00 pm Thursday: 10:00 am - -5:00 pm Friday: 10:00 am - (J1 o o pm Phone or Fax [phone] Email messages to [e-mail] or check out our website @ www.milolibrarv.ca Joanne Monner, librarian Barb Godkin, Tracy Mozill, assistant librarians, Gina Deitz , summer student Did You Know? You can easily convert PDF files to Word documents and vice versa. And for free! You could, of course, purchase software to accomplish these tasks but the following websites are simple to use and absolutely free. To convert a PDF document to Word: Go to www.pdftoword.com. Browse for the PDF file you want to convert. Choose either .doc or .rtf extension (.doc will convert the file to a Word document, while .rtf will convert it to a Rich Text File). Enter your e-mail address and click ‘Convert’. It will take a few minutes, but eventually you will receive an e- mail with your converted document attached. Results of the con­version will vary depending on the content and complexity of your PDF document - I did a few tests with mixed results To convert a Word document to PDF: Go to www.doc2pdf.net (you have to scroll to the bottom of the main page). Browse for the Word document you want to convert. Click on the ‘Convert document’ button. Your converted document should load in the same window fairly quickly. From there you can save the document to your com­puter. Continued from page Donations School” by Hazel Harrison, “Company’s Coming: Most loved Brunches” by Jean Pare’, “Practical Gormet: Good Friends, Great Grilling”, “Garden Mosaics: by Emma Briggs and Tessa Hunkin JUNIOR FICTION ““The Dragon in the Sock Drawer" by Kate Klimo, “How do you spell g-e-e- k?” Julie Anne Peters, “The Curse of the Evening Eyes” by Carol Matas, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Do-It-Yourself book” by Jeff Kinney, “The Dragonmaster” by Karleen Bradford, “Accidentally Fooled” by Lisa Papademetriou, “Isabelle the Ice Dance Fairy” by Daisy Meadows, “Life, Staring Me!” by Robin Wasserman, “Miss Popularity Goes Camping” by Francesco Sedita, JUNIOR NON-FICTION ““My Winnipeg” by Guy Maddin, “Penguins” by Anne Schreiber, “A For­est of Stories” by Rina Singh, “Cool Room: 35 make-it-yourself Projects” by Mark Montano, “The Princess Bitchface Syndrome” by Michael Carr-Gregg, PICTURE BOOKS “The Tear Thief’ by Carol Ann Duffy, “Herb the Vegtable Dragon” by Jules Bass, “Seymour and Henry” by Kim Lewis, “One City Two Brothers” by Chris Smith, “Daddy Loves Me”, “Spots and Dots”, “The Sleepy Sheep” by Phyllis Root, “Puppies and Kit­tens”, “Happy Baby Words”, “Little Angel” by David Kinefield, “Beep! Beep! Peekaboo!” ADULT MYSTERY “By Hook or By Crook” by Betty Hecht- man, “Sweet and Deadly” by Charlaine Harris, “Wolf Whistle” by Marilyn Todd, “The Alpine Traitor” by Mary Daheim, “Buckingham Palace Gardens” by Anne Perry, “Dean Man’s Footsteps” by Peter James, “Written in Blood: A Forensic Hand­writing Mystery” by Sheila Lowe, “Turn Up the Heat” by Jessica Conant-Park & Susan Conant, “Margaritas & Murder: A Murder, She Wrote Mystery” by Jessica Fletcher Donald Bain, “The Cat Who Lived High” & “The Cat Who Had 14 Tales” by Lilian Jackson Braun, “Almost Dead” by Lisa Jackson ADULT WESTERN “Many A River” by Elmer Kelton, “The Rider of Ruby Hills” by Louis L’Amour, “ The Lawless West” by Louis L’ Amour, Zane Grey, and Max Brand, “Resolution” by Robert B. Parker, DONATIONS Wa want to thank tha following people for thair donations to our library this month: Danisa Myars, Sua Ivars, Larry Cross, Tracy Mozill, Nail Godkin, Kurt Nalson, Allan Moora, Sylvia WhaatlayPet Containment Pet Doors Bark Control Remote Trainers Complete Installation & Training 100 % Satisfaction or money Back Sonic Bark Control, No Collar needed even works on your neighbors dog I NEW Chip activated Pet Doors Only desired pets can enter ! Greg Deitz 1 -877-364-2929 [phone] Cel 899-7387 Cats Too ! | ' y 1 www.invisiblefence.caLisa Deitz Celia Lahd Miriam Deitz Tracy Heather Adriane Deitz The Bossy Know-It -All (Who Doesn't know anything)) The Only Black Guy (ancl lie's fake) The Fat One The Smart One doesn't help her in the end) The Over Enthusiastic Librarian Who dies first The Asi an (What happened to her?) The Crazy Psycho Who B rings Knives to a Sleep Over The Ditzy Bl onde where ditzy dumber than a rock Sara Prentice Rylee Deitz Jennifer Lin Gina Deitz PREMIERING OCTOBER 3 2009 AT THE MILO LIBRARY 2:00-3:30High School - 1957 vs. 2009 Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck9sgun rack. 1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show jack. 2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives - they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. 1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits till and does not disrupt class again. 2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the State because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor 9s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2009- Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock. 2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2009 - Pedro’s cause it taken up by State. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. A class action lawsuit is filed against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant pile, 1957 - Ants die. 2009 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents - and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Maty. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison, Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. This submission is intended for entertaining reading but it is disturbing to think that our world has actually changed somewhat to this degree. COMMON SENSE — where has it gone?CELESTIAL WELLNESS SWEDISH RELAXATION MASSAGE REFLEXOLOGY and/or REIKI BARB FISCHER, RMT HIDDEN VALLEY GOLF COURSE 322 Antelope Street Telephone: [phone] Email: [e-mail] Website: w w w. ce I esti a i we 11 n ess. ca Experience the healing power of Swedish Massage, Reflexology or Reiki! Each restores and maintains energy, reduces stress/tension, improves circulation and assists the body to become calm, balanced and healed. Enjoy a balancing effect on your mental, emotional and _____________________________________________spiritual bodies.______________________________________________ G. D’s REPAIR R ALL YOUR MECHANICAL NEEDS & REPAIRS Call: Gerald DeitzSunflower Studio Pedicures, manicures & nail art by Tracy Located at 238 River Street, Hidden Valley Golf Resort Phone: [phone]The SNAKE VALLEY DROP-IN CENTRE serves coffee every Monday morning and afternoon. We enjoy providing this service but we could use a few more volunteers to help put the coffee on and clear up , If you would like to serve coffee please let Susan Ivers know. Thank you to all the people that have helped prepare and serve the coffee, The executive of the "DROP-IN1' is. . , , , . PRESIDENT.,,.SUSAN IVERS (403-599 3874) VICE PRESIDENT .MARILYN NELSON SECRETARY.JULIE NELSON TREASURER. . .BRENDA PRENTICE * Membership dues are $ 10.00 per year, * There are 19 paid members for 2009. * There will be a SNAKE VALLEY DROP-IN CENTRE meeting Monday, September 7, 8:45 am . Please plan to attend. * HEALTH NURSE AND FOOT CARE * Wednesday, September 9, 1:00 - 2:30 pm. * INFLUENZA IMMUNIZATION: Wednesday, October 28, 1:00 -4:00 pm. * A thank you to Ellen and Helen Thompson for the donation and care of the window box flowers. * Thank you , Lewis Meyers and helpers for the garbage/storage box at the rear of the "DROP-IN" building. * Last but certainly for assisting with no more 1eaks when not least, THANK YOU to the MILO LIONS the expense of the "DROP-IN1s" new roof, piles of snow melt. Here’s a tip as yo Never H/eara aid became if you da, people expect you to Hsfen to them.SNAKE VALLEY DROP-IN In order to keep the SNAKE VALLEY DROP-IN CENTRE an active useful social centre, input from the interested public would be greatly appreciated. Please express your ideas on the following form and leave it at the Milo Library or Milo Green Foods or the Drop-In. NAME (optional ) __________________________________— --- CRIBBAGE; Would you be interested in playing crib this year ? YES___ NO ___ Is Monday a suitable day for you to play crib ? YES ___ NO ___ Other day you would prefer to have crib ?__________ AFTERNOONS EVENINGS Would you attend both ? ___ Would you attend one or the other ? FRENQUENCY OF CRIB NIGHTS: WEEKLY EVERY OTHER WEEK OTHER CRIB LUNCH: NEEDED: YES ___ NO ___ Organization of lunch suggestions. SUGGESTIONS FOR OTHER ACTIVITIES: Other card games.___________ BOARD GAMES: Would you participate in a BOARD GAME get- together. x YES ___ NO ___ AFTERNOONS ___ EVENINGS ___ Your suggestions of Board Games to play. ________________ What other activities would you like to have in the Drop-In? We also welcome any other suggestions you may have that will create more interest and participation in the SNAKE VALLEY DROP-IN CENTRE._______________________ . Thank you for your time and ideas.The Sack Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a good book to read, perhaps I will get a short nap, I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled ail the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me. ‘Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, ;and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time. As I reached for my wallet, I overheard soiaier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to base.' His friend agreed. I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in Iraq it's almost like you are doing it for him.' Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?' 'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. 'This is your thanks.' After we finished eating, I went again to the b ack of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars. Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said, 'I want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars! Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.' Ten young Canadian Heros left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little. A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ' Canada ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.' May God give you the strength and courage to pass this along to everyone. ^Freedom Isn't Free Somebody PaidThe Queenstown Chronicles Tales of a City Boy’s move to Paradise. Allow me to introduce myself: First I should answer the basic question that I'm sure is in most everyone’s mind - just who is this Bozo? The short answer is Cameron Klem - Grant Lahd’s brother in law. The longer answer is Jo-Ann Lahd’s husband of some 25 years. My father explained a long time ago what my mission was. “Marriage is like this Cam” he said. “They give you children (something you can't do yourself) and then you work for them until you die. If you don’t like the rules, don’t sign up." (Yes my father Phil was a famous romantic.) So my stated mission is to make sure my wife and child Jessica “Live The Dream”. Jo-Ann’s dream was always to move back to the countryside of her childhood, so over the last few years we talked and made arrangements, fixed up our house in Calgary, and massaged Grant all in the hope of landing somewhere close to where Jo grew up. Our plans came together better than we had hoped, and we are now new proud residents of Queenstown. Our home is within sight of the Lahd family farm (now Rod & Leslie’s) where Jo-Ann grew up and Levona and Telford Dixon’s. Levona is Jo’s cousin and a best buddy. As a bonus for us we are also across the road from Kyle Lahd, Jo’s nephew. Poor Kyle - his nosy aunt and uncle are positioned with more than half the windows in their house facing his humble abode - which means he is under almost constant observation. No chance for the poor guy to entertain a lady without fresh nose marks on our windows and a call to the relatives. One day I saw smoke coming from the K-Man’s driveway and hurried inside to tell Jo-Ann. “Kyle’s got his barbeque going.1" I said and headed for my tongs and sauce, being a bit of a star in front of the grill and hoping to give Nephew some help and tips. "Relax!” Jo said. “He’s just burning garbage." It’s true - Kyle is much better known at the Milo Cafe than any cooking classes. (Blame Mom Betty for looking after him so well.) First Impressions: Please understand I still live in awe of each and every sunrise and sunset, the big sky, the clean air, and the wonderful friendly .people of Queenstown, Milo and the surrounding countryside. Your kindness, generosity and sense of community are no secret to you, but have been a stunning bonus to me. As our home came together, various tradesmen made the journey here. Universally two standard comments were made, and in this order: “Man you guys are in the middle of nowhere.1" (followed a moment later by.) “ You know it’s just gorgeous out heref I would always reply "Yes - please, don’t tell anyone." Cam meets the Killer Gumbo: I had no idea just how “special” our land is. Grant had explained the value of gravel for my driveway and walkways, and my kind wife had purchased me an official set of gumboots from the UFA, but I was just not ready. So mere days after having our lot finally profiled and driveway built, and missing the first good rain, I walked out to install my eaves trough downspout extensions, carefully staying under the eaves where it was drier. Unknown to me I was venturing onto 3 full feet of un-compacted clay that had been soaked by the downspout. Within seconds my right boot was in up to the label - about an inch from the top. My ieft ieg followed as I tried to stagger back. Here I was, in full sight of the road, in front of my house, a grown man, trapped like some six year old in muck. Worse than that, I had my nice cordless drill in one hand and a chunk of downspout in the other. Pride almost killed me. I was not going to leave a boot or two in the ground - they were brand new and on their first trip out! Yes, I called out for my wife. No, she could not hear me from inside the house. I grunted and heaved, digging myself deeper until I was truly desperate - so desperate that I had to throw my drill back onto dry dirt (just a couple of tantalizing feet away) and use my bare hands to begin to dig out enough mud to let air under my boots. The operation took fully fifteen minutes, during which I weighed the value of dying from a heart attack and being found right there rather than having people drive by and run off the road laughing at my efforts. I emerged soaked and dripping with sweat, carrying three inches of mud on the sole of each boot, and my groin muscles strained the point I couldn’t lift either foot. Jo-Ann looked out the living room window to see a Frankenstein like figure lurching towards the garage, swinging his feet out to the side in a strange attempt to walk. Only true love and concern for her idiot husband kept Jo from fading down laughing. (Jo will tell you that men are idiots, and she married their King.) We get Reality TV - The Cow Channel: Part of “The Plan” was to use the piece of land next ours as a sort of holding area for cattle that were for one reason or another not really in shape to make the trip to the leased land out east. (Think of these cows and calves as the “B Team”.) So all of a sudden here I was, responsible for watering and monitoring about 20 cows and calves. We were supplied with a round blue plastic watering trough, a couple of salt blocks, and rudimentary instructions. I explained to Kyle that I didn’t really know much about cattle. "That’s fine Cam" Kyle said, "Can you do this?" Kyle shot both arms straight out from his sides as if to block someone from passing. " Trust me, that's all you should need" Kyle assured me. Thus began my career as Cam the Cattleman. Every morning I got up about 5:00 AM, walked out the back door, and smoked my morning cigarette while I counted “my" herd. Let me state at this point that I was really surprised at how much I liked these animals. Watching the calves cavorting with each other and seeing the interactions between the various members of the B Team wasThe Queenstown Chronicles Tales of a City Boy’s move to Paradise,., fascinating. Grant had told me that the saddest thing you could be was a rancher who didn’t like cows - and I suddenly understood that if you did like them the whole process was immensely satisfying. (Yes, I know I’m way too old for 4H.) A few days later Grant asked me how I was getting along with the ladies and their calves. “Just great' I replied. “My favourite is ihat number 59” i said, referring to an nice cow that always had a moment to stand and stare at me after having a drink at our “kiddy pool”. “That's good Cam" Grant chuckled back “but if you look more closely, you’ll see that they are ALL number 59”. Somewhat taken aback, I walked over to the fence, and sure enough, I had been reading her lease tag. It turns out I had a bunch of number 59’s! Everybody has a Label; About a week after my lesson in how to read ear tags, I walked out the back door for my smoke and morning count, and stopped cold. About 30 feet away was something new. It was huge, white, equipped differently at the back (facing away from me at the time) and on the wrong side of the fence, as in standing in my back yard. Yup, that seems to be a bull. I popped back inside, and rang up Grant on my cell phone. "Did you send me a Charolais bull7 I asked. “No," Grant replied “Do you have one?" “Oh yeah, a big one in the back yard" I said. “Whose is he?" Grant asked. 7 don’t know" I stated, ‘We haven’t really spoken yet'. “He has a brand. Cam - they all do" Grant said, the tone In his voice wondering yet again why God had sent him this idiot for a brother in law. Good, I thought, I’ll just hold up the cell phone and Grant can ask him to turn sideways. Instead I ran around the front of the house, and sure enough, there was a brand on him. (You know, whoever thought of that was a genius.) By this time you could actually feel the love in the air. All our cows were starting to line up at the fence - tails toward the wire. The girls were obviously taken with our visitor, and I could sense an impromptu party in the offing. Suddenly my new fence looked very insubstantial. I described the brand, Grant made a phone call, and nice Mr. Nelson from down the road showed up just a few minutes later to claim his wandering bull (poor bull was just trying to do his job and show a little initiative) and herd him back south and home. I have more stories and impressions of our journey here and first year in residence, i welcome your comments or condolences for my wife. Please email at [e-mail] Your Humble Servant, Cameron Klem Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that’s when the fight started . A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap' That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'Our friends in Newfoundland have the 'Lowest Stress Rate' because they do not take medical terminology serious, you are going to die anyway, so live life and drink till you cannot lift your own mug! Newfie Medical Dictionary Artery. The study of paintings Bacteria.Back door to cafeteria Barium. What doctors do when patients die Benign. What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section.A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan.Searching for Kitty Cauterize.Made eye contact with her Colic.A sheep dog Coma. A punctuation mark Dilate.To live long Enema.Not a friend Fester. Quicker than someone else Fibula. A small lie Impotent.Distinguished, well known Labor Pain.Getting hurt at work Medical Staff. A Doctor's cane Morbid.A higher offer Nitrates.Cheaper than day rates Node.I knew it Outpatient.A person who has fainted Pelvis.Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative.A letter carrier Recovery Room.Place to do upholstery Rectum.Nearly killed him Secretion.Hiding something Seizure.Roman emperor Tablet.A small table Terminal Illness.Getting sick at the airport Tumor.One plus one more Urine.Opposite of you're out THE COUNTRY FARMHOUSE Gifts, Antiques and Collectibles With A Taste of Rural Alberta Monday to Saturday - 11:00am to 5:00pm Reservations for evening meals are welcome! Book for parties, anniversaries or special events. Box 10 from Cluny Hilltop Dianne Brown Cluny, AB 3 miles west Ph. 403-734-2593 T0J 0S0 1/2 mile north Fax [phone] Join the fun at our FLASHLIGHT FRIDAY Bring your flashlight and enjoy the corn maze at night Don't forget our buffet lunches on Fridays. My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No." she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, ".Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"F.M. TRAILER WORLD Dealers For Norbert, Rainbow, Dex & Duralite Aluminum Stock, Horse & Fiatdeck Trailers Selling Fence Posts & Corral Panels - Truckload Discounts Check Our Website For New & Used www.fmtraiierworid.com Vulcan Strathmore Stavely [phone] [phone] 1-877-205-1999 Frank Mclnenly Auctions Lt Vulcan, AB Serving the Agriculture Industry Since [phone] Frank Mclnenlv a Stacey SchootenPictured i to R: led Lee. Byron I hompson, Score Schroedcr, Dale Nelson, Robert Phillips, Doug West, Aaron Birch, Ross Birch, Bob Donnelly, Erich Ruppert MILO/LOMOND V O L U N T HER F I RE DEPARTMENT HELP SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MILO VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTERS THE 2010 FIRE WITHIN CALENDAR'S ARE NOW FOR SALE TO BUY ONE PLEASE CONTACT A LOCAL FIREFIGHTER OR PHONE DARLENE OR ROBERT AT 403 599-3791 THE MONEY RAISED WILL GO TO BUYING NEW EQUIPMENT AND FOR TRAININGErin & Ryan “Burt’s Page” In the 12 years that I’ve been here, this is the very first wedding I’ve participated in. No, I wasn t the “Father of The Bride”, nor was I the groom, or the man doing the honors, but more exciting, I chauffeured Erin and Ryan on a wedding tour around Milo in my “T” that the girls decorated for this purpose, not forgetting the customary noisy tin cans tied on the back. Erin, (Joanne and Barry’s daughter), took the plunge August 1st. The outdoor ceremony was one that will be remembered by many; it was a fun filled long weekend event for guest campers, a memory that will last a lifetime for her and Ryan. Bridesmaids, Janet Sukut, Amy Atkinson and Cari Fydirchuk along with ushers, Chad Monner (Erin’s brother), and Merlin Gietz with Best man, Cam Young. I was impressed with the neatly organized back yard and Barry’s newly constructed low stonewall with a wooden archway to the entrance of wedding site. Arrangements of chairs were facing the “Hitching Post”, an eye catching decorated archway with lights and a unique white fence, on each side facing the aisle. It’s strange how a father gets so excited over the arrival of a newborn daughter and when she gets older, he is just as excited to give her away. Pastor Reg Berg performed the formalities and vows; his pleasant sense of humor was an addition to their wedding celebration. Oh yes, another plus, the sun was on its best behavior with a welcomed breeze once and awhile.After the picture taking, I drove the excited newly weds to the Community Hall for the well- organized reception. The MC and other speakers knew how to put their points across, whether it was expressing comments about Erin & Ryan or cracking a few jokes, which people enjoyed. The meal prepared by Colleen and Allan was their usual smorgasbord style and I would say they went out of their way for a special “Wedding Meal”, followed was a dance around 9.00. Unfortunately it started to rain and I thought it best to get my “T” home and under cover, besides it was past my bedtime. For the short length of time the rain lasted, with the hall doors opened, it cooled down allowing for pleasurable dancing. All in all it was a perfect day not only for Erin and Ryan but also I was pleased that the T was an attraction on their special day. Furthermore, I had a glorious and exciting time and I am truly thankful to Joanne and Barry for the invitation. “ THERE!” (S&Ut'f Then the moment the wedding party looks forward to; a cruise around town, stopping now and then posing for the photographer. They were looking forward to it; I was in my glory, dressed up in a 20’s costume, showing off my “T” and being surrounded by beautiful women. Many memorable pictures were taken with the group and some using the “ 177 to spice up the occasion. Some people may think this picture was the wedding party, relations, and friends attending. Not so; they are Joanne’s side of the family, the Schlaht’s. While ample other pictures were being taken, folks socialized and took advantage of the assortment of bar refreshments in the garage."Burt's Page" July/09 “Good-bye 65 and Hello 66” It was that time ©f years again when another one ©f thooose^ days has arrived* Unlike last year, Mother Nature wasn't aware of the importance off this special event Ct© me, that is)* Even though it rained and below comfortable 93.B.Q. weather, that didn't stop my aging process, but I do believe it discouraged some people from attending* With Bob Brown's help, removed my vehicles from the garage, relocated a few other items to my shed, tided up the area, swept the floor and ready for party time* Thanks to the Mil© Lion's Club for lending me two picnic tables, (hope they didn't mind)* Just before party time that afternoon, Steve Bertscby came over and we managed to pick the tables up with the use off his truck and positioned them in the middle of the garage floor. For barbecuing purposes, Cwhat else), I moved my B.B.Q. from my house pad and placed it just inside the big door of the garage*A woman was standing nude,looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that’s when the fight started. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for herself." And that’s when the fight started. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And t hat’s when the fight started. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And that’s when the fight started. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And that’s when the fight started.T s Saloon/ Milo Hotel Wing Wednesdays 7 p.m. to midnight Have a safe harvest everyone!MILO LIONS CLUB NEWS COMING EVENTS FOR SEPTEMBER 2009 September 2 - Regular meeting 8 p.m. September 9 ’ Executive meeting 8 p.m. September 16 ' Supper meeting 8 p.m. September 23 ' Executive meeting 8 p.m. Donations: 9 $5200 for Snake Valley Drop-In Centre roofing Activities: • Mowing of Lions Park and the two cemeteries keeps us busy in the summer months. » Over 300 attended our annual Lions Barbecue on Sunday, August 9l at Milo Community Hall. The weather was perfect. Thank you to everyone for attending. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And that’s when the fight started. The Learning Centre Will be starting 10 weeks of ESL and GED dasses at the beginning of October. We will also be having game nights, and a conversation cafe. Please give Christina a call at 423-0160 if you would like to loin in! 135-VUL39S75Bridal Shower For Leanne Scattergood (Holoboff) Bride of Nick Scattergood September 10 at 7:00pm at the Milo Community Hall, Everyone Welcome!!! BRIDAL SHOWER for BROOKE NELSON Bride-elect of JOE SABOURIN Sunday, September 27 2:00 p.m. Milo Community Hall X 599-2491 X MILO Wednesday - Men’s Walkin 9:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m. HOURS: Tuesday ■ Friday Thursday 9:00 a.m.- 5:00 p.m. (by appointment only) 5:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m. <><> Perms, colors, streaks, foils, lash & brow tinting, waxing, tanning bed, & Perafin dips. Congratulations to Morgan and Mike Fulton on the birth of their daughter, MIKAELA GARI bom July 22, 2009. Proud grandparents are Brenda McMorris Jack and Sandy Fulton of VulcanVillage of Milo Chief Administrative Officer The Village of Milo is seeking a highly motivated individual to assume the position of Chief Administrative Officer. Reporting to the Mayor and Council, responsibility will include administration and operation of all municipal programs and services. The successful candidate will possess a Local Government Certificate however, consideration may be given to an equivalent level of education and experience. Knowledge of parliamentary and administrative procedures, municipal accounting, budget development and financial reporting skills would be an asset. Communication, interpersonal, organizational and supervisory skills are necessary as well as the capability to multi task in a demanding environment. Interested candidates are requested to forward their cover letter and resume in confidence by September 15 to: Milo, Alberta TOL 1L0 Or email to: [e-mail] VILLAGE OF MILO Contact the Village at PHONE: [phone] FAX: [phone] [e-mail] MAYOR --- ROBERT PHILLIPS COUNCILLORS --- STEVE EDWARDS ______________________________ WENDY HINGLEY ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT --- MELISSA RHODES OFFICE HOURS for September and next Village Council meeting date had not been set at printing time. They will be posted on the Village Office door and also stated on the answering machine. Please Note: All payments and correspondence can be still be mailed or dropped through the office door mail slot for processing. Messages can also be left on the Village Phone Answering system. For Public Works assistance, contact Louis Myers at 485-5524. For After Hours EMERGENCIES ONLY! Call Melissa at 403-332-3708Itv lovtrup Memory o/1 (9or Beloved/H father & (jrandpcv X en Ne Sept. 25, 2007 Nothing can ever take away The love a heart holds dear. Fond memories linger every day Remembrance keeps him near. You were always true and patient Through the years you struggled on And those hands that rest forever Made the home that now is gone. lovingly remembered/ Charlotte/, Brady <£f JanLaree/, Broxhke/£r Joe/,& ij-R: to my Granddaughter, she asked me where I got my slippers. After telling her that I bought them at the store, I asked her where she got those beautiful black ringlets. She looked at me with her head tilted and said,”I guess from the curly store. Pretty good answer for a three year old ! ####* ** *####* * * *####** * *####** * *#### My husband brought me a bouquet of flowers that he had arranged himself. As he was telling me about it, we noticed that our three year old was blowing on the flowers. When we asked her why she was doing that she replied,” Well, Daddy said there wasn’t enough baby’s breath, so I’m giving it some more”. mm****mm****mm****#mm****#mm To teach the children the meaning of kindness, every morning my son’s Grade 2 teacher put the students’ names into a hat. The children each picked a name and had to perform an act of kindness for that person during the day. Each day after school I asked Sammy whose name he had pulled and what thing he had done. One day he told me that he had drawn his teacher’s name. “That’s terrific,” I replied. “And what kind thing did you do for her?” Proudly he said,” I listened to her ALL day.!” /fe et>MPu.ei> §y hCONDOLENCES THANK YOU Deepest sympathies are extended to Kay Fitzpatrick, and Milton, Wes, Sherry and Charlotte and families. Bob will be missed so very much and our thoughts are with you at this time. Our heartfelt sympathies are extended to Ann Prentice and Thomas, Sara and Adam; Brenda, Cyndi, Jim, and Rick and families. We are so deeply saddened by the loss of Ken and our thoughts and prayers go out to you. GET WELL WISHES Get well wishes are extended to Helen Shield, Lorraine Stumpf and Bob Deitz. CONGRATULATIONS Congratulations to Leanne Holoboff and Nick Scattergood who were married in Lethbridge on August 29th at the Rocky Mountain Turf Club. THANK YOU I would like to thank Sheila and our girls for all their hard work putting on a suprise 65th birthday party for me. Thank you also to my sneaky brother Lyle for whisking me away for a golf day at Strathmore so they could get everything ready. It was so great to see so many come to the party. I enjoyed visiting with neighbors, friends, family and old friends that I haven't seen for years. Thank you all for coming out. Elfie you did a wonderful job of taking pictures which you say isn't work but thank you for capturing the day. Also thank you to all of you who sent cards and emails, for the phone calls and to those of you who stopped in to wish me a happy birthday. I really appreciated this and was somewhat suprised I knew something was going to happen but didn't know when or where. I really had a great birthday! Alvin Winch It sounds cliche to say "words cannot express our gratitude", however, we have to say so to this community. We are so thankful for everyone's help with our wedding on August 1 st. It was a magical day for us and our families; we have so many of you to thank for helping make it such a wonderful time! Burt - the Model T was the icing on the cake! We enjoyed seeing so many of you out at our dance, especially being a long weekend in the summer. We are so appreciative of each one of the gifts and have found a place in our happy home for everyone. Thank you Milo and area for your amazing generosity, it will never be forgotten. Please call on us if you're ever out our way in Winnipeg. Sincerely, Erin and Ryan Vogt A big thank you goes out to all of you who helped make Erin and Ryan’s wedding such a success! From those of you who provided houses, bedrooms and RV’s to helping with the bar, the lunch and desserts. We appreciate the effort from everyone to help make the event run smoothly. There is no way we could have done it without you. We hope everyone enjoyed the day as much as we did. Barry and Joanne FOR SALE 2004 Pontiac Grand AM GT 90,000km Black Exterior, Grey Interior Automatic Car Starter Installed Asking $8,000 Call Chris at 403-869-5589September 2009 SUN MON TUE ' " * A.- A A WED THUR FRI SAT 1 2 Lions Club Meeting 8:00 pm 3 TOPS 8:30 am 4 5 6 Buffalo Hills United Church - Arrowwood 9:30 am 7 8 Fire Practice 6:00 p.m. Library Board Meeting 8:00 p.m. 9 Health Nurse Drop-In 1:00 - 2:30 pm Lions Executive Meeting 8:00 pm 10 TOPS 8:30 am Leanne Scattergood Shower 7:00 p.m. Milo Hall 11 12 13 Hope Lutheran Church - Milo 9:00 am Buffalo Hills United Church - Arrowwood 9:30 am 14 15 16 H Lions Supper Meeting 7:00 pm 17 TOPS 8:30 am 18 Flashlight Friday Country Farmhouse Clunv 7- 10p.m. 19 20 Buffalo Hills United Church - Arrowwood 9:30 am 21 22 23 Lions Executive Meeting 8:00 pm 24 TOPS 8:30 am 25 DEADLINE CANOPENER ARTICLES 26 2 7 Hope Lutheran Church - Milo 9:00 am Buffalo Hills United Church - Arrowwood 9:30 am Brooke Nelson Shower 2:00 p.m. Milo Hall 28 29 30 October 1 TOPS 8:30 am October 2 October 3 MILO FALL FAIR f l 'a;' s ,i’s'