| Summary: | THE CONCORDIAN Friday, April 1, 1949 Editorially. Hearty congratulations to all those who helped to make last Friday morning's student body meeting on the college pastor situation such an outstanding affair. First, a bouquet of choice dandelions to all the students who thoughtfully stayed away in order to avoid overcrowding the chapel and to simplify voting procedure. Only 106 students signed the petition to call the meeting and they were there. Second, a cluster of burdocks to our many parliamentary law experts. It is extremely discouraging, however, to note the popularity of Robert's Rules of Order and the rigidity of their enforcement. We trust that in the future these unneces-sary encumbrances to procedure can be dispensed with. Last, some lovely rhubarb leaves to those who attended the meeting but had made previous appointments for 10:30 qv a little later which they were conscientious enough to keep, even though it meant tearing themselves away from the meeting. Such attention to duty is most commendable. We leave it to you, students, to decide if we are April Fool-ing. Student government exists, but does little more. When most of us hear the words "student government," we are in-clined to dismiss them with an I-have-other-things-to-do atti-tude. Did you know that less than half of those eligible voted in the Homecoming queen election last fall? Do you know where to find a copy of the student body constitution? Do you know what the Student Forum is and who is on it, and if so, what it has done or failed to do this year? Do you know what happens to the $2.50 per year you pay to the Student Forum? To mention only one example of what might happen if we as students were behind our student government—a Student Union building could have been put up and could be in opera-tion. Two years ago a movement for this purpose was begun and the Alumni Association pledged its support, but somehow action petered out. Now we are going to settle for one room in the basement of the Men's dorm. These and other signs point to the fact that something is wrong in our campus life. The sad fiasco of our most recent student body meeting is a crowning confirmation of this truth. Where does the fault lie? Perhaps it is in ourselves. It could be that we talk big but do little. Or maybe our sense of values tells us to pay attention only to those things which immediately concern us and we are convinced that student affairs are not for us. It might be that we are just plain lazy. Or the fault may lie in the fundamental concept of student government. What is it? Why does it exist? If it is serving no useful purpose except as a vehicle for government "of the wheels, by the wheels, and for the wheels," it ought to be elim-inated. Spring is a good time of year for general housedeaning. It is now spring* The Concordia student body has an oversupply of dust and cobwebs. Attend the student body meeting next Thursday. What happens is up to you! Keep Informed Of World-Wide News Myron Hylden HITLER LOCATED In a tiny village named Alpen-strause at the foot of the Bavarian mountains, American correspon-dents yesterday saw the post-war , version of Adolph Hitler. The vil-lage townsmen touched their fore-heads and smiled as they pointed the route to the castle-like chalet that houses the would-be con-queror of the world. Once inside the stonewalled garden, newsmen •listened to the incoherent babb-lings of the little German speaking of the great battles to be waged just around the corner of the house. Saluting at every other step, he led the group to a far cor- ner of the garden where Luftwaffe squadrons hung suspended by strings from the branches of the apple trees. He cackled on and pointed to leaden soldiers buried in mud representing the allied cause, as his brightly painted pan-zer divisions charged across the green turf. As the correspondents were leaving he let loose with a salvo of ifHeil Hitlers" and planted his foot solidly in the midst of the allied armies. NORTH ATLANTIC TO BE SPANNED Winston Churchill broke the news to stunned newsmen in Lon-don that the conservative party of the British Empire has completed plans for a bridge-like structure to make direct connections with Greenland, Newfoundland and the United States. TURTLE SETS RECORD In an unprecedented burst of speed, Miss Snapper II "snapped" all existing turtle speed records as she literally flew down the home stretch of Miami's exclusive Stroll-away Park. Her manager was rad-iant as he explained the high speed technique. "Simple! Just have an inquisitive racing dog appear at the opening "gun. Then snap, and they're off." MARKET CLOGGED Housewives in Italy have been urged to make full use of the new recipes which include spaghetti in them. Spaghetti factories have run at such a high rate of production that "we'll strangle ourselves at this rate," remarked Secretary of Spaghetti Production Marco Tra-vatti between bites of macaroni pie. Bob Shaw And Chorale Please Audience With Varied Program By Don Prlndle And there are' those who ser-iously claim that choral music is limited to the lesser works and lacks the variety obtainable in instrumental ensembles! Wednes-day evening in the Moorhead Ar-mory 2,000 people sat through two and a half hours of this choral music representing everything from the stately Bach and delicate sixteenth century works to the dissonant Poulence Mass in G Major, and pleasant American show music. They were convinced that the extremely difficult com-positions could be done with pre-cision and ease, and certainly a choral program such as this did not lack variety by any means. I take my hat off to Robert Shaw and his Chorale. Needless to say, no words of mine could ex-press the awe and the gratefulness reflected by the audience and least of all, myself. A conductor of the very highest order, Mr. Shaw dis-played his greatness particularly by his insistence on precision sing-ing regardless of the type of num-ber sung. His singers, as well as his instrumental ensemble, while not as "amateur" as some might lead you to believe, were through and through sensitive musicians. Their responsiveness to every ges-ture by Shaw as well as their sym-pathetic accompaniment to the soloists was especially effective. The diction displayed in German, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian and Dutch, let alone English, was su-perb. Last but not least I might mention that there are three card-inal principles of choral singing: (1) unity of pitch, (2) unity of color, (3) and unity of volume. By an unorthodox system of personnel arrangement, Mr. Shaw attained these three goals, thus fulfilling the axiom, "It isn't what you have, it's what you do with it." Robert Shaw's creed is "They shall have music." Two thousand of us were thrilled having it. From Free Meals To Eliminating Exams By An Aging Sophomore "Students will no longer have to pay for breakfasts and dinners in the college cafeteria," is the most recent information released to The Concordlan. This expense is to be met with a special tax on the use of paper towels in the Men's dorm. Meeting in the luxurious Pioneer Memorial Library, the Board of Directors extended congratulations to The Concordian upon its effici-ent coverage of news since the change from a weekly to a daily newspaper. In another major move, the Board decided that the students with an "A" average or less will be exempt from examinations this spring In response to the growing feeling among- the students against exams! •• This plan will be adopted instead of the suggested honor system to eliminate any unfairness in exami-nations. The innovation will psy-chologically motivate the students to do harder work during the rest of the year. With this decision, the general health will have a chance to pick up after the predicted epidemic of Russian fever which is always prevalent before society pledging. (This disease is accompanied by a severe pain in the neck and warmth under the collar.) Allow-ing for more time in the fresh air, the plan will also help students to combat spring fever. In another major move the Board appropriated $900 in funds for Schiok electric razors which will be furnished to each resident of the Men's dorm. Provided also is an annual fund of $5,000 which will be distributed as prizes to winners in weekly cafe-teria talent shows. Allotted are grants for the oon-i struction of 12 bowling alleys in the new Student Union building, which was erected following; sug-gestions In The Concordian of No-vember, 1948. Also to be purchased is a copy of Robert's Rules of Order to be used at future student body meet-ings. This book is to be required reading in all freshman home econ-omics classes. One of the secondary issues was the decision to send the college band on a trip around the world. Its one and only concert will be in Afghanistan. The college has been bonded for 5,000,000,000 pencils to pay for the foregoing measures. Know what, girls! The admini-strative board lias given us lights all night! Columnist Comment By A Less Potent Sophomore COLUMNIST CONTEST The Concordian is ' sponsor-ing a column contest. Look in next week's issue for details. Money involved. Have you an idea for a column? You have? Keep it, you'll never have another. Columnist — in this capacity I serve. I'm merely guest columnist, and not a volunteer to the column contest. Not that I'm pro-admin-istration enough to sneeze at a five-dollar bill, but there are sev-eral complications involved in col-umnizing. For instance: A policy? Repre-sentative Cobber that I am, I don't have an attitude, argument or opinion — therefore, no policy. Where would I be led should I possess these three, the greatest being opinion ?—To an "1st Lost" no doubt. Did that arrow ever hit the bull's eye? Or is it lost? Well here's a bit o' logic. The target's round and thick; the bull's-eye is pea-sized; the arrows are pointed. What, in your possession, is round, dense, and small? Has the point of this column hit you? If it has, I conclude that all of the people can be fooled all of the time. You see, there just isn't any point. Pithy Statements of the Week: "I am an Athenian, a senior, and a debator; and how do you live?" "You think — therefore you are —a radical." "We shook hands and SAID goodnight." (He was wearing a Delta Rho jacket.) "How many students do we have at Concordia? — Oh, a dozen or two students and lots of people who are registered." Booster Boy Orchids to public relations for excellent judgment. I know of no man who could handle campus publicity with more of the required dignity than Hoover Bain. His original publicity methods are ob-vious to everyone about the cam-pus. His service to the college is distinctive, for I 'know of no or-ganization in which he has not be-come an active member—nor any important petition which he has not dutifully endorsed. Legalized Den The best news of the week is that concerning the official opening of the den on the main floor of the new Student Union building Satur-day night. The den is similar to that of St. Olaf, and will 'be man-aged similarly. Now that we have a place to play games right on our campus, let's show our apprecia-tion Saturday night and every night following! Than— How much comes off one. Cob? — Not much more, surely. In order that the reader and the writer understand one another bet-ter, the writer assures the reader ,that the whole column is merely the inevitable banter which the first day of April brings. Fabulous Pool To Be Dedicated Don't forget to attend the de- •dication of the $500,000 swim-ming pool, formerly known as Prexy's pond. V. R. Katsup# in-structor in Japanese, will be the guest expostulator. The meeting begins at 8 p.m. at the Pickle Plaza (spelled backward: elkcip azalp). CO-EDITORS MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR NEWS EDITOR SOCIETY EDITOR DESK EDITOR OOPTC'EDITOR FEATURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR SPORTS WRITERS Helen Narveson and Peter Teisberg Allan Sortland JIH Harstad Joyce Warner Patricia McClure Crystal Sevorson Bernadlne Nealahd Joan Thuc Jack Mueller . Arlo Rolandson, Georare Sanda, and Alden Hvidaton. SPECIAL WRITERS -. Myron Hylden, Luella Larson, Jon Skyberg, Margaret Waajze, Clarice Foss, and Elaine Olson BUSINESS MANAGER - Herman Radtff ADVERTISING MANAGER Albert Fortman - STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER : Charles Anenson* THE CONCORDIAN Published we«kly daring the school year except daring vacation, holiday and examination periods, by the students of Concordia College, Moorhead. Entered as second class matter at the poatofflce of Moorhead, Minn., Dec. 9, 1920. under the Act of March 8, 1879. NINE TIMES ALL-AMERICAN Subscription Rate, $2.50 a year. Miss Geneva Mauseth Joyce Elmquiet Shirley Viker CIRCULATION STAFF — Adeline Groven.^Avia KnuUon, Eleanor Midboc, Ruth Satre, Betty Schroeder, Marian Swenson, Jean Wettcland, and Joanne Wold. REPORTERS — Paul Ahlneu, Ann Beck, Doris Benson, Corrine BHkstad, Lloyd Bjornlfc, Paul Eidbo. Louise Ftnstad, Clarice : , FOBS, Correne Gabbert Harold Klefsaas, Dorothy Larson, Ingre-mar Larson, Walter Larson, Hase] Lovdokken, Connie Lunde, ' Ruth Lykken, Lucille Njus, Robert Narveson, Doris Ottawn, Orvlllo Sanderson, Ruth Sellle, Avis Septon, Joyce Spoon land, Lloyd Svendsbye, Carol Thompson, Laura Tllus, Donald Vlffen, Harold Void, and Sally Ann Warner.
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