Gubitak, tugovanje i pružanje potpore. S posebnim osvrtom na nesretno okončanu trudnoću

• Main Author: Jakšić, Maja; Center for education and consulting Hippocampus; [e-mail]
• Format: Text
• Language: Croatian
• Published: Divine Service; [e-mail] 2014
• Subjects: gubitak; smrt; tugovanje; spontani pobačaj; pružanje potpore; loss; death; mourning; miscarriage; offering relief; sami
• Online Access: http://hrcak.srce.hr/131455; http://hrcak.srce.hr/file/194209

Smrt voljene osobe jedno je od najtežih životnih iskustava. Živimo u vremenu u kojem se činjenica smrti negira i potiskuje, a o procesu žalovanja i pružanju potpore ožalošćenima nemamo dovoljno znanja pa se najčešće ne znamo nositi s gubitcima ni vlastitim, ni tuđim. Ljudi se tijekom života suočavaju s različitim vrstama gubitaka, a nekada i s onim najtežim gubitkom, gubitkom djeteta. Postoje dvije specifične situacije gubitka djeteta kojima okolina, a katkad i sami tugujući, ne pridaje dovoljno važnosti ili ga ne prepoznaju kao stvarni gubitak ili se tugujući jako teško nosi s tim gubitkom. Riječ je o gubitku djeteta koje se još nije rodilo i o mrtvorođenom djetetu. Ova vrsta gubitka po svemu je ista s ostalim gubitcima, osim što tugujući često ne dobiva, a često i ne traži potporu i pomoć koje su mu potrebne. Zato je bitno znati osnovne stvari o procesu žalovanja, te prepoznati i razumjeti otežano, prikriveno ili pak poremećeno žalovanje kako bismo mogli pomoći sebi, ali i pružiti djelotvornu potporu i utjehu ožalošćenima. Death of a loved one is one of the most difficult life experiences. We live in a time when the fact of death is denied and suppressed and due to the lack of sufficient knowledge about the process of grieving and giving relief to the grieving, we don’t know how to cope with either our own or others’ losses. During the life people are confronted with various kinds of losses, sometimes with the most difficult ones, the loss of their own child. There are two specific situations when losing a child to which the neighbourhood, sometimes even the grieving ones, do not attach sufficient importance or do not recognize it as a real loss or find it very hard to cope with it. It is the loss of a child not yet born and a stillborn child. This kind of loss is the same in everything as other kinds of losses, except that the aggrieved person does not get, and often does not ask for necessary support and help. Therefore it is important to know the basic things about the process of mourning, as well as to recognize and understand the aggravated, concealed or disturbed mourning so that we could help ourselves, and also offer relief and comfort to those who mourn.